Tuesday 29 March 2011 9:45PM
It is wonderful day, isn't it? Many good news come to me and I should be happy. First news is my honey's news related to her future job. The news seems positive and I feel content for her. She will be able to work and cut down some stresses that she encounters recently. Second news is related to my customs job, even it is not clear, but I think it should start so soon. Two good news at the same time, but why I feel blank at the moment and I feel not happy from inside. Why why why?
Ask who? Who can know even if I myself have no idea about this kind of feeling. Perhaps it is related to my study CPA, Master, and part time job Teaching at NUM? They have more or less to do this feeling I guess. What if I am assigned to work soon before the semester finished? How could i manage to teach to study and to finish those tasks? I used to write I decided wrong twice, the first I chose to teach one class while I wait for the news from workplace, but no news, and now second decision I took three class, then the news seems to come earlier before semester ends. How many decision I will make wrong in future?
Let keep it in mind cos it is ur problem and ur choice... no one can help u besides u urself. You need to deal with it by urself, and find the way out on ur own.
:(
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
14 March 2010 - 14 March 2011 in Picture
At titanic, looking into her eyes with a smile from my heartmixed with the noise of my stomach movement due to hungry hahahaha
She was so shy when I looked into her eyes and turned toother direction to avoid my charming eyes lolzzzzzzzzzzzz
She hold my hand so tightly that I cannot run away from
her... She loves me THAT MUCH !!!! :)
A night background is very nice ... Love that moment
In this world, there are only you and me :))))))))
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Love stories
Saturday 26 Feb 2011, 10:36 PM
I am really excited about the good news of my friends who struggle for their love and now they get good news which get married at the end of this year. Congratulation friends, although I don't know them clearly, but I feel excited for their wonderful love. They seem not have any obstacles just only one problem which is based on Fortuneteller, and now the result is wonderful , so their love is successful and step into the marriage life soon.
another story about the friend of my friend who was born as a son of the rich high class family, and he happens to know a simple middle class girl in class , where they study together. They love each other of many years, and after graduation, they promise to marry each other. God seems not to bless this couple , cos the status and class won't allow them to be together, simply meaning is that parent of the boy absolutely deny this love and won't accept her as future in law. They cried lots together, and try to be together when out of sight of their parents. till now, it has been two years since the denial of marriage by their parent. They continue unclear and blur relationship cos they love each other strongly. I don't know what will the result in the future of this love... I just hope their strong love will soften the boy's parent heart soon.
a friend of mind , on the other hand, love a female classmate for long time. They get along well and also come arcoss pain and happiness along the love road too. Several times , they decided to break up cos of some misunderstanding , and some problems made them cried together many times. However, nothing can win true love, so they start to the point of no return , which is only going forward. Till now, they also are known by both family and are accepted to be engaged so soon. Hope both of them get married soon.
and many other story that is very romantic and can touch my heart ... let Buddha bless me :(
Deepblue
I am really excited about the good news of my friends who struggle for their love and now they get good news which get married at the end of this year. Congratulation friends, although I don't know them clearly, but I feel excited for their wonderful love. They seem not have any obstacles just only one problem which is based on Fortuneteller, and now the result is wonderful , so their love is successful and step into the marriage life soon.
another story about the friend of my friend who was born as a son of the rich high class family, and he happens to know a simple middle class girl in class , where they study together. They love each other of many years, and after graduation, they promise to marry each other. God seems not to bless this couple , cos the status and class won't allow them to be together, simply meaning is that parent of the boy absolutely deny this love and won't accept her as future in law. They cried lots together, and try to be together when out of sight of their parents. till now, it has been two years since the denial of marriage by their parent. They continue unclear and blur relationship cos they love each other strongly. I don't know what will the result in the future of this love... I just hope their strong love will soften the boy's parent heart soon.
a friend of mind , on the other hand, love a female classmate for long time. They get along well and also come arcoss pain and happiness along the love road too. Several times , they decided to break up cos of some misunderstanding , and some problems made them cried together many times. However, nothing can win true love, so they start to the point of no return , which is only going forward. Till now, they also are known by both family and are accepted to be engaged so soon. Hope both of them get married soon.
and many other story that is very romantic and can touch my heart ... let Buddha bless me :(
Deepblue
Monday, February 21, 2011
ត្រៀមនឹងទទួលគ្រប់យ៉ាងនៅថ្ងៃនេះ
ចន្ទ ២១ កុម្ភៈ ២០១១ ម៉ោង០០:២៧
ខ្ញុំនៅតែបារម្ភពីលទ្ធផលនៅព្រឹកនេះ មិនដឹងថាវាយ៉ាងម៉េចទេ គេថាធ្លាក់ ឬ ជាប់ជារឿងធម្មតា តែសំរាប់ខ្ញុំ គឹជារឿងធំ ។ វាមិនដូចជាមុខវិជ្ជាផ្សេងដទៃទៀត ហើយក៏មិនដូចជាសាលាធម្មតាផ្សេង ទៀតដែរ ។ ធ្លាក់មួយ វគ្គគឺខាតធ្ងន់ណាស់ ហើយនឹងធ្វើអោយខាតពេលវេលាទៀត។ បើសិនជាខ្ញុំមានសំណាងជាប់ ពិតជាសប្បាយចិត្តណាស់ ។
តែហាក់ដូចអត់សង្ឈឹមសោះ
ខ្ញុំនៅតែបារម្ភពីលទ្ធផលនៅព្រឹកនេះ មិនដឹងថាវាយ៉ាងម៉េចទេ គេថាធ្លាក់ ឬ ជាប់ជារឿងធម្មតា តែសំរាប់ខ្ញុំ គឹជារឿងធំ ។ វាមិនដូចជាមុខវិជ្ជាផ្សេងដទៃទៀត ហើយក៏មិនដូចជាសាលាធម្មតាផ្សេង ទៀតដែរ ។ ធ្លាក់មួយ វគ្គគឺខាតធ្ងន់ណាស់ ហើយនឹងធ្វើអោយខាតពេលវេលាទៀត។ បើសិនជាខ្ញុំមានសំណាងជាប់ ពិតជាសប្បាយចិត្តណាស់ ។
តែហាក់ដូចអត់សង្ឈឹមសោះ
Sunday, February 20, 2011
ខួរក្បាលខ្ញុំកំពុងតែគិតអ្វី
ថ្ងៃអាទិត្យ ២០ កុម្ភៈ ២០១១ ម៉ោង ១៧:១៤
មិនដឹងចាប់ផ្តើមពីត្រង់ណាបានត្រូវទេ ព្រោះខួរក្បាលខ្ញុំមួយនេះវាដើររហូត ដែលធ្វើអោយខ្ញុំគិតមិនយល ថាខ្ញុំកំពុងតែគិតអី ធ្វើអីអោប្រាកដ គ្រាន់តែដឹងថា វាយ៉ាប់ណាស់ ពិបាកទ្រាំណាស់ ធុញថប់ណាស់ ច្របូកច្របល់រក ថាមិនត្រូវ។ កើតជាមនុស្សដែលគិតច្រើន ខុសពីអ្នកដទៃ ដែលគេស្គាល់តែភាពសប្បាយ ហ៊ឺហា មិនចេះខ្វល់ខ្វាយអ្វីឡើយ គឺពិតជា គួរអោយគេធុញទ្រាញ់ណាស់ ។ ពេលខ្លះខ្ញុំមានអារម្មណ័ថា ឯកាណាស់ ទោះបីជាខ្ញុំមានសង្សារក៏ដោយ ព្រេះយើងមិនបានជួបគ្នារាល់ថ្ងៃនោះទេ ហើយពេលខ្លះខ្ញុំចង់ នៅស្ងាត់ ម្នាក់ឯង មិនចង់និយាយអ្វីទាំងអស់ ពេលខ្លះខ្ញុំនិយាយច្រើនដល់ថ្នាក់មិនយល់ថាខ្លួនឯងនិយាយពីអី ជួនកាល ក៏ស្រងូតស្រងាត់មិនដឹងរឿង គេថាខ្ញុំជាមនុស្សពិបាកយល់ចិត្ត ខ្ញុំទទួលស្គាល់ ព្រោះសូម្បី តែខ្ញុំក៏មិនដឹងថា ខ្លួនឯងចង់បានអ្វីនោះដែរ។
ការងាររាល់ថ្ងៃមិនដឹងជានៅឯណា ប្រាក់កាសក៏មិនសម្បូរ ស្នេហាក៏ជួប ឧបសគ្គ វ័យប៉ុណ្ណេះទៅហើយ មិនទាន់មានស្ថិរភាពលំនឹងជីវិតទៀត ខ្ញុំពេលេនេះមិនអាចចិញ្ចឹមខ្លួនឯងរួចផង តើអោយខ្ញុំទៅចិញ្ចឹម អ្នកណារស់ ។ ខួរក្បាលនៅតែដើរឥតឈប់ ទោះថ្ងៃយប់នៅតែគិត មិនដឹងថ្ងៃណាទេដែលជីវិត មាន ក្តីសង្ឈឹម។ សុខទុក្ខខ្ញុំម្នាក់ឯងមិនថ្វីទេ បើនៅតែឯង ខ្ញុំនឹងរស់នៅដោយគ្មានខ្វល់ តែខ្ញុំនៅមាន ម្តាយ បងស្រី គ្រួសារ នឹងសង្សារសំណប់ទៀត។ សេចក្តីសុខរបស់ខ្ញុំពិតជាមិនសំខាន់ឡើយ អោយតែធ្វើអោយពួកគេមានសេចក្តីសុខ ខ្ញុំក៏សុខដែរ។ បច្ចុប្បន្ន ជីវិតដូចជាចកកណ្តាលសមុទ្រ តែល តោលគ្មានទិសដៅ ការសិក្សាក៏មិនទាន់ចប់ លទ្ធផលក៏មិនទាន់ដឹង ហើយនៅតែមិនច្បាស់ថាអាច បញ្ចប់ការសិក្សាទាំងពីរ នេះដូចដែរបានគិតរឺអត់ផង ព្រោះស្ថានភាពខាងមុខរឹតតែមើលមិនយល់ទាល់ តែសោះ។ ខ្ញុំខុសប្លែកអស់ហើយ ជីវិតដែលធ្លាប់តែសប្បាយ ក្លាយជាវិបត្ត ទុក្ខសោក រកអ្វីមកប្រៀប ផ្ទឹម មិនបាន ។ មួយរយៈ ចុងក្រោយ ស្នេហាជួបវិបត្តិដោយសារ តែវណ្ណៈគ្រួសារ ដែលធ្វើអោយជីវិត ស្នេហានេះ មិនដឹងថារស់ដល់ពេលណា ទោះបីជាយើងសច្ចានឹងគ្នាថា ត្រូវតែតស៊ូដល់ទីបញ្ចប់ក៏ដោយ ។ គេកើតទុក្ខរាល់ថ្ងៃ គេយំរាល់ថ្ងៃ គេតឹងទ្រូងរាល់ថ្ងៃ គឺដោយសារតែរឿងនេះ តើវាជាកំហុសខ្ញុំជាអ្នក ផ្តើមមែនទេ? បើអត់មានវត្តមានខ្ញុំ ម៉្លេះសមគេមិនពិបាកចិត្តដល់ម្លឹង ហើយក៏មិនមែនអាក្រក់ក្នុងក្រសែ ភ្នែកប៉ាម៉ាក់គេដែ។ បើអត់ខ្ញុំ គេប្រហែលជាជួបមនុស្សប្រុស ដែលមានលក្ខ័ន្ត ល្អជាងខ្ញុំដប់ម្ភៃដងក៏ថាបាន។ ហើយគេក៏មិនពិបាកចិត្តជាមួយមនុស្សដូចខ្ញុំ មិនបាច់ព្យាយាមសំរបជាមួយមនុស្សគ្មាន បេះដូងដូចខ្ញុំម្នាក់នេះ គេក៏មិនក្លាយឈ្មោះជាកួនស្រីអកត្តញ្ញូ ។ បើពេលវេលាដើរថយក្រោយ ខ្ញុំសុខ ចិត្តរើសនៅតែស្រឡាញ់គេតែឯង ដោយមិនអោយគេដឹង ប្រសើរជាង ទោះដឹងថាអាម្មណ៏បែបនេះ គឺលំបាក និង ឈឺចាប់ខ្លាំងយ៉ាងក៏ដោយ តែវាឈឺចាប់តែខ្ញុំម្នាក់គឺគ្រប់គ្រាន់ហើយ ហើយគេប្រហែល ទៅរៀនបរទេស រឺក៏រៀបការដោយសប្បាយចិត្តតាមគំនិតម្តាយ ព្រោះចិត្តគេនៅបរិសុទ្ធនៅឡើយ។ សរុចទៅបើអត់ខ្ញុំ បញ្ហាមួយនេះគឺមិនមាន។
ហ៊ឹ បើចង់និយាយ និយាយមួយថ្ងៃក៏មិនចប់ដែល សូមអោយអ្វីបានប្រសើរ ហ៊ឹ
វេហាស៍ដ៏ស្រងាត់
មិនដឹងចាប់ផ្តើមពីត្រង់ណាបានត្រូវទេ ព្រោះខួរក្បាលខ្ញុំមួយនេះវាដើររហូត ដែលធ្វើអោយខ្ញុំគិតមិនយល ថាខ្ញុំកំពុងតែគិតអី ធ្វើអីអោប្រាកដ គ្រាន់តែដឹងថា វាយ៉ាប់ណាស់ ពិបាកទ្រាំណាស់ ធុញថប់ណាស់ ច្របូកច្របល់រក ថាមិនត្រូវ។ កើតជាមនុស្សដែលគិតច្រើន ខុសពីអ្នកដទៃ ដែលគេស្គាល់តែភាពសប្បាយ ហ៊ឺហា មិនចេះខ្វល់ខ្វាយអ្វីឡើយ គឺពិតជា គួរអោយគេធុញទ្រាញ់ណាស់ ។ ពេលខ្លះខ្ញុំមានអារម្មណ័ថា ឯកាណាស់ ទោះបីជាខ្ញុំមានសង្សារក៏ដោយ ព្រេះយើងមិនបានជួបគ្នារាល់ថ្ងៃនោះទេ ហើយពេលខ្លះខ្ញុំចង់ នៅស្ងាត់ ម្នាក់ឯង មិនចង់និយាយអ្វីទាំងអស់ ពេលខ្លះខ្ញុំនិយាយច្រើនដល់ថ្នាក់មិនយល់ថាខ្លួនឯងនិយាយពីអី ជួនកាល ក៏ស្រងូតស្រងាត់មិនដឹងរឿង គេថាខ្ញុំជាមនុស្សពិបាកយល់ចិត្ត ខ្ញុំទទួលស្គាល់ ព្រោះសូម្បី តែខ្ញុំក៏មិនដឹងថា ខ្លួនឯងចង់បានអ្វីនោះដែរ។
ការងាររាល់ថ្ងៃមិនដឹងជានៅឯណា ប្រាក់កាសក៏មិនសម្បូរ ស្នេហាក៏ជួប ឧបសគ្គ វ័យប៉ុណ្ណេះទៅហើយ មិនទាន់មានស្ថិរភាពលំនឹងជីវិតទៀត ខ្ញុំពេលេនេះមិនអាចចិញ្ចឹមខ្លួនឯងរួចផង តើអោយខ្ញុំទៅចិញ្ចឹម អ្នកណារស់ ។ ខួរក្បាលនៅតែដើរឥតឈប់ ទោះថ្ងៃយប់នៅតែគិត មិនដឹងថ្ងៃណាទេដែលជីវិត មាន ក្តីសង្ឈឹម។ សុខទុក្ខខ្ញុំម្នាក់ឯងមិនថ្វីទេ បើនៅតែឯង ខ្ញុំនឹងរស់នៅដោយគ្មានខ្វល់ តែខ្ញុំនៅមាន ម្តាយ បងស្រី គ្រួសារ នឹងសង្សារសំណប់ទៀត។ សេចក្តីសុខរបស់ខ្ញុំពិតជាមិនសំខាន់ឡើយ អោយតែធ្វើអោយពួកគេមានសេចក្តីសុខ ខ្ញុំក៏សុខដែរ។ បច្ចុប្បន្ន ជីវិតដូចជាចកកណ្តាលសមុទ្រ តែល តោលគ្មានទិសដៅ ការសិក្សាក៏មិនទាន់ចប់ លទ្ធផលក៏មិនទាន់ដឹង ហើយនៅតែមិនច្បាស់ថាអាច បញ្ចប់ការសិក្សាទាំងពីរ នេះដូចដែរបានគិតរឺអត់ផង ព្រោះស្ថានភាពខាងមុខរឹតតែមើលមិនយល់ទាល់ តែសោះ។ ខ្ញុំខុសប្លែកអស់ហើយ ជីវិតដែលធ្លាប់តែសប្បាយ ក្លាយជាវិបត្ត ទុក្ខសោក រកអ្វីមកប្រៀប ផ្ទឹម មិនបាន ។ មួយរយៈ ចុងក្រោយ ស្នេហាជួបវិបត្តិដោយសារ តែវណ្ណៈគ្រួសារ ដែលធ្វើអោយជីវិត ស្នេហានេះ មិនដឹងថារស់ដល់ពេលណា ទោះបីជាយើងសច្ចានឹងគ្នាថា ត្រូវតែតស៊ូដល់ទីបញ្ចប់ក៏ដោយ ។ គេកើតទុក្ខរាល់ថ្ងៃ គេយំរាល់ថ្ងៃ គេតឹងទ្រូងរាល់ថ្ងៃ គឺដោយសារតែរឿងនេះ តើវាជាកំហុសខ្ញុំជាអ្នក ផ្តើមមែនទេ? បើអត់មានវត្តមានខ្ញុំ ម៉្លេះសមគេមិនពិបាកចិត្តដល់ម្លឹង ហើយក៏មិនមែនអាក្រក់ក្នុងក្រសែ ភ្នែកប៉ាម៉ាក់គេដែ។ បើអត់ខ្ញុំ គេប្រហែលជាជួបមនុស្សប្រុស ដែលមានលក្ខ័ន្ត ល្អជាងខ្ញុំដប់ម្ភៃដងក៏ថាបាន។ ហើយគេក៏មិនពិបាកចិត្តជាមួយមនុស្សដូចខ្ញុំ មិនបាច់ព្យាយាមសំរបជាមួយមនុស្សគ្មាន បេះដូងដូចខ្ញុំម្នាក់នេះ គេក៏មិនក្លាយឈ្មោះជាកួនស្រីអកត្តញ្ញូ ។ បើពេលវេលាដើរថយក្រោយ ខ្ញុំសុខ ចិត្តរើសនៅតែស្រឡាញ់គេតែឯង ដោយមិនអោយគេដឹង ប្រសើរជាង ទោះដឹងថាអាម្មណ៏បែបនេះ គឺលំបាក និង ឈឺចាប់ខ្លាំងយ៉ាងក៏ដោយ តែវាឈឺចាប់តែខ្ញុំម្នាក់គឺគ្រប់គ្រាន់ហើយ ហើយគេប្រហែល ទៅរៀនបរទេស រឺក៏រៀបការដោយសប្បាយចិត្តតាមគំនិតម្តាយ ព្រោះចិត្តគេនៅបរិសុទ្ធនៅឡើយ។ សរុចទៅបើអត់ខ្ញុំ បញ្ហាមួយនេះគឺមិនមាន។
ហ៊ឹ បើចង់និយាយ និយាយមួយថ្ងៃក៏មិនចប់ដែល សូមអោយអ្វីបានប្រសើរ ហ៊ឹ
វេហាស៍ដ៏ស្រងាត់
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Dad I miss you so much when I am mentally weak
Wednesday 16 Feb 2011, 11:40 PM
I just got the bad shocking news from my relative that my big aunt, elder sister of my father, just passed away this afternoon. She fell the serious sick for 3 or 4 days although her chronicle illness is with her since young age. Last month, my big aunt, the elder sister of my father too, also passed away, and now it is her sister 's turn. Although they are old and I am not so close to them when they are alive, they are still my relative. I am so shocked when something turned to this so suddenly. However, I didn't cry , perhaps I am not so close to them, but I am so sad about this.
Whenever I am sad and weak, only person that make me think of is my beloved and respectful father. He seems to be near me whenever I am down. It has been 3 years now since he left me and I cried every time I think of him , think of the time before he died, the way he wanted to talk to me but he couldn't, how he was hurt before he closed his eyes forever, how he groaned , and I still remember every action he take at that time... I miss you Dad, You are my power of mind to do anything else. How are you? Now you are in Heaven , right? You always look after me from distance right? Now I feel mixed up Dad. I don't know what I am thinking about and why I am so sad like this tonight. Whenever I see the reunion in other family, I am always sad,not because I am jealous of their hapiness, but I miss you cos I lose you when I am not stable. I want to have you again to treat you well , to make you feel like a king, to make you proud of me... Dad, don't worry about Mum and sisters and brothers, they are well and I promise to take a good care of them...
Tonight I am weak , Dad, but Tomorrow I will be strong again cos I won't be like this or You will be disappointed. Believe in your son Dad. I miss you so much , Dad.
From your son
Rith
I just got the bad shocking news from my relative that my big aunt, elder sister of my father, just passed away this afternoon. She fell the serious sick for 3 or 4 days although her chronicle illness is with her since young age. Last month, my big aunt, the elder sister of my father too, also passed away, and now it is her sister 's turn. Although they are old and I am not so close to them when they are alive, they are still my relative. I am so shocked when something turned to this so suddenly. However, I didn't cry , perhaps I am not so close to them, but I am so sad about this.
Whenever I am sad and weak, only person that make me think of is my beloved and respectful father. He seems to be near me whenever I am down. It has been 3 years now since he left me and I cried every time I think of him , think of the time before he died, the way he wanted to talk to me but he couldn't, how he was hurt before he closed his eyes forever, how he groaned , and I still remember every action he take at that time... I miss you Dad, You are my power of mind to do anything else. How are you? Now you are in Heaven , right? You always look after me from distance right? Now I feel mixed up Dad. I don't know what I am thinking about and why I am so sad like this tonight. Whenever I see the reunion in other family, I am always sad,not because I am jealous of their hapiness, but I miss you cos I lose you when I am not stable. I want to have you again to treat you well , to make you feel like a king, to make you proud of me... Dad, don't worry about Mum and sisters and brothers, they are well and I promise to take a good care of them...
Tonight I am weak , Dad, but Tomorrow I will be strong again cos I won't be like this or You will be disappointed. Believe in your son Dad. I miss you so much , Dad.
From your son
Rith
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Does god want to play with me
27-01-2011 Thursday 21:39
It is long time since exam that I was stuck and down cos of my brain. This morning I got a good news from GDCE my work place about the upcoming result released, I was so happy at the time. In the afternoon, happy time turned to the sad one. Why? It is my brain that can't work well like before and It is the illness which still follow me (headache and dizzy, nose problem, inspirational problem).
I am the person who never surrender before fighting since I was young and what I wanted to do must be done even thought sometimes I cannot be successful. Mainly, I am not a strong man who can use physical appearance to work, but I use a small complicated staff about several kg in my head to think, to study, to work, to earn and most of everything in my life, which is BRAIN. Without it, I can say that I will be a handicap person.
Many of my achievement in life and honorable credit is gained cos of IT. I have used it nearly 26 years already and I hope I can use it until the day I die. My health is not so good as other people , I often get sick esp my nose. Last time, I have my nose bone operated in VN that I was told it is curved. For this reason , I can't breathe well. After operation, I still feel bad and it still hurts when the changes of weather. The more serious one now is that it affects my head. I don't know it is the core cause to make me more headache than before or not, but I just feel that way.
Recently, I took exam for ACCA course and I was prepared much with those two rough courses that made me use my brain so bad. As a result, it becomes tired now and works improperly till now. This afternoon, I just corrected my student work and noted the mark in the list, I find it simple thing , but it turn me to be nearly crazy cos of the letter and confusing name. I was so stuck and my brain start crying.... Hmmm just a little staff like , I still can't control it , let alone the big matter. ACCA needs to use much thinking and analysing, so I must need a good brain to use to achieve it, but now what? My head is ached just only correcting homework, let alone ACCA papers. How about my work? my plan? my further study? Everything needs thinking. What can I do right now? I cannot do anything cos it is beyond my control.
I am really scared and afraid that I will become a handicapped one day. What if I turn crazy ? What if I turn to be a forgetful person? or What if I forget the past like a drama? If I live in this world alone, I would not be sad , but I have many people to take care of , so Plz my buddha, dont punish me in that way! Plz don't play with me so long ! Every time I think about it, It is hard to breathe... sigh... let me take deep breath before continue writing this ......Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hopefully, God doesn't block my way as My honey told me. I do the good thing since I was born, I never cheat people, never kill people, never do sth bad to society, so God won't punish me anyway. Happy to have her by my side when I was down. When I read her message in my FB, I felt as she was hugging me and saying those consoling word. Thanks you SD to be with me.
Good night.. cos I promised to follow what she told.
Deepblue Sky
It is long time since exam that I was stuck and down cos of my brain. This morning I got a good news from GDCE my work place about the upcoming result released, I was so happy at the time. In the afternoon, happy time turned to the sad one. Why? It is my brain that can't work well like before and It is the illness which still follow me (headache and dizzy, nose problem, inspirational problem).
I am the person who never surrender before fighting since I was young and what I wanted to do must be done even thought sometimes I cannot be successful. Mainly, I am not a strong man who can use physical appearance to work, but I use a small complicated staff about several kg in my head to think, to study, to work, to earn and most of everything in my life, which is BRAIN. Without it, I can say that I will be a handicap person.
Many of my achievement in life and honorable credit is gained cos of IT. I have used it nearly 26 years already and I hope I can use it until the day I die. My health is not so good as other people , I often get sick esp my nose. Last time, I have my nose bone operated in VN that I was told it is curved. For this reason , I can't breathe well. After operation, I still feel bad and it still hurts when the changes of weather. The more serious one now is that it affects my head. I don't know it is the core cause to make me more headache than before or not, but I just feel that way.
Recently, I took exam for ACCA course and I was prepared much with those two rough courses that made me use my brain so bad. As a result, it becomes tired now and works improperly till now. This afternoon, I just corrected my student work and noted the mark in the list, I find it simple thing , but it turn me to be nearly crazy cos of the letter and confusing name. I was so stuck and my brain start crying.... Hmmm just a little staff like , I still can't control it , let alone the big matter. ACCA needs to use much thinking and analysing, so I must need a good brain to use to achieve it, but now what? My head is ached just only correcting homework, let alone ACCA papers. How about my work? my plan? my further study? Everything needs thinking. What can I do right now? I cannot do anything cos it is beyond my control.
I am really scared and afraid that I will become a handicapped one day. What if I turn crazy ? What if I turn to be a forgetful person? or What if I forget the past like a drama? If I live in this world alone, I would not be sad , but I have many people to take care of , so Plz my buddha, dont punish me in that way! Plz don't play with me so long ! Every time I think about it, It is hard to breathe... sigh... let me take deep breath before continue writing this ......Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hopefully, God doesn't block my way as My honey told me. I do the good thing since I was born, I never cheat people, never kill people, never do sth bad to society, so God won't punish me anyway. Happy to have her by my side when I was down. When I read her message in my FB, I felt as she was hugging me and saying those consoling word. Thanks you SD to be with me.
Good night.. cos I promised to follow what she told.
Deepblue Sky
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)